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    So let me admit right here, that I am a big fan of Zelda. I bought both the Wii and Zelda at launch and have spent 40+ hours playing it. Being the young and determined person I am, I beat the game in 35 hours. My Dad on the other hand, is not even half way through yet and has spent 100+ hours (according to his save file). Here begins my story.

“God Dammit!” “Shit!” “Oh fuck! I have to do it again?!” These are the sounds that emanate from the downstairs living room. My Dad is playing Zelda again. My Dad is well into his mid fifties and wasn’t born into a generation where video games existed, but even with that said it still doesn’t stop him from swearing up a storm when he gets knocked off his horse or when he dies in a boss battle. My Dad is truly determined to do whatever it takes to beat Zelda. He calls me when I’m out with friends (true story) and asks me, “Hey Jeff, how do you do a Shield Attack? It keeps asking me to do a shield attack and I have no CLUE (with emphasis) what the hell its talking about!” Then I will have to tell him how to do it, and chances are he probably still won’t get it, but by some chance, he discovers how to do it by pure luck accident (aka wave around the controllers).

            His sense of direction is alright in real life, but for some odd reason, real-life doesn’t transfer to what I call, “A Virtual Sense of Direction”(a term coined by me). He always runs around in circles and goes back into rooms he has already been in and wonders why everything looks familiar. It’s a true test of patience, I’ll have to say. I really have to try and not point out what he has to do, or beg him to let me do it for him. It is painful to watch, in fact I’m pretty sure that if you wanted to torture someone, all one would have to do is tie them down and make him/her watch my Dad play Zelda (I can hear their screams of frustration as I type this, “Oh God! You already did that temple!! Somebody, please, I’ll do anything! Get this man a strategy guide!!”). That’s why I usually bring a book with me so I don’t have to silently weep while watching him play (in fact when my brothers came down from LA, my brother Michael pointed out that that we all started reading books when my Dad began to play Zelda).

            Dad, I love you, but your navigation skills I’m afraid are in another castle.

 -Neverhitboxes

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So I played through Halo 3 today with a friend, start to finish, and I have to say, I kinda don’t like it at all. I loved Halo; Halo 2 was great; but Halo 3…meh.

I’m a big storyline person. I love getting involved in the events of a game. A big reason I bought the game (I don’t even have a 360 and had to get a friend to lend his to me under the sole condition that I give him the game when I’m done) was to get some closure for the Halo storyline, and frankly, there is none. There are so many questions left unanswered at the end of the game; too many even if there were to be a Halo 4. I don’t want to get too into specifics for those who haven’t yet played through it and still plan to, but were it not for a few small things, the game would have almost no attracting storyline elements whatsoever.

I admit that some parts of the game were fun, namely the last level, which was reminiscent of the first game’s last level The Maw, but overall the game failed to impress. The graphics were not at all bad, but weren’t something to drool over (then again, we were playing split-screen on a 19-inch TV). I’d much prefer not necessarily the graphics, but maybe the graphical feel of Wii’s Metroid Prime 3, my last favorite console game.

On a separate but related note, playing console FPS’s constantly makes me realize how much I love PC games. It seems trivial, but when you’re in an intense situation, and you need to turn 180 degrees around, and with a console you can only push the control stick so far in one direction and actually have to wait for your character to turn all the way around, it gets pretty annoying and sets some serious pace limits. On a PC, you’re in full control — your character’s movements actually correspond to your mouse; there’s no center that you need to reset to when you’re done turning.

If this is hard to understand, just think about what I said — imagine you’re playing Halo right now (or just go play it), and you want to spin around to face the other way. You hold the control stick down one direction until you’re there, right? It might take a second or less (depending on your sensitivity). Now imagine the same situation on a PC. You just go VRRP! and you’re there (yes, that’s my sound effect for a mouse).

So anyways, some PC games I’m excited for now are Portal and Half-Life 2: Episode 2. I’ve already been playing the Team Fortress 2 beta and it’s pretty freaking sweet (they’ve even implemented rankings, just like BF2/2142!).

And this time going completely off-topic: did you know fell is a word!? I don’t mean the past tense of fall; I mean you can actually go fell something (i.e. I felled that tree yesterday!). Woo, good times.

Ugh, I could totally follow that up with an ATLA quote…