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Hey alright guys, this is a true story thats original to this blog only- AND – it happened today! Hurray! Ok, so today I got out of my piano lessons at 4:30pm. There is a bank next building over. So usually my Mom picks me up afterward in the parking lot, (yeah she picks me up I can’t drive- cue laughter whatever) I noticed that she wasn’t waiting there so I walked around the parking lot just to make sure. As I was passing by the back entrance of the bank- there were a few people inside staring at me. I didn’t think of it much at first, I was calling home and walking around in a circle. After I finished getting off the phone, the people who were staring at me were gone from the windows and there was a woman who was locking the back door. She gave me a odd/fearful look and so I just gave her the “whatever” expression and walked off.

So it usually takes my Mom about 10 minutes to get to where I was so I took out 1984 (which is a good read, I recommend it) and using my backpack as a pillow, laid down and read on the small strip of grass that was in front of the bank. About 1 1/2 minutes later, this cop car pulls up beside me (because the lawn strip was close to the parking lot) and I looked over and was like, “wtf”. I get up and the cop gets out. He was a bald guy of about 30+ years.

Cop: “Can I see your ID?”

Me: “Ah yeah, sure.” [pulls out student ID]

Cop: “Alright” [Takes ID, scribbles some notes]

Cop: “When is your birthday?”

Me: “February 26th, 1990”

Me: “Can you tell me whats going on?”

Cop: “Well, last week this bank was robbed by a young man, who was thin, had dark hair, lightly tanned skin and a black bag. Before he robbed the bank he hung around the back parking lot area for a few minutes before he went in and held the place up. And the people at the bank reported that there was a guy walking around the back of the bank who matched the suspect who robbed the bank last week.”

Me: [Thinking, oh shit, because I totally match the description, I was carrying my black messenger bag AND I was making phone calls while just walking around the back of the bank]

“Oh………funny you never hear things like that….”

Cop: “Yeah, you look like the guy, but you’re not the guy. The real guy was about 20 years or older and everyone was sure he had a wig on.”

Me: “Really? Man, thats pretty crazy.”

Cop: “Yeah, sorry to alarm you or anything.”

Me: “Oh its no big deal, but you scared me there for a second.”

Cop: “Sorry about that….by the way, you waiting for someone or what?”

Me: “Oh yeah I was waiting for my Mom to pick me up- I just got out of my piano lessons like 10 minutes ago over there.” [points at building]

Cop: “Hm. Well take it easy- now I just gotta go tell the people inside its ok.” [laugh]

Me: “Good day!” [at that moment my Mom arrives and I jump in and drive off without any other hassle- oh and I say good day a lot to adults because I’ve worked as a cashier at a few jobs and I’m so used to saying it]

Overall it was a jarring experience. I had no idea why those people inside the building were freaking out and locking all the exits, but now I do. XD It actually crossed my mind that maybe they thought I was attractive or something and they just couldn’t keep their greedy eyes off me- Ha! Wow! Totally wrong!

-Neverhitboxes

-Staring does not equal hotness. -Neverhitboxes

    I apologize for my recent hiatus, I was busy NOT BEING CLEANED BY MY SHOWER! [cue cheering audience] So let me fill you guys in. If you haven’t already read my previous post about My Shower, I suggest you do so before continuing.

SO, I haven’t exactly used my bathroom shower. I have refused to touch it. For the past two years or so I have used my parents bathroom which is FAR FAR superior to my bathroom shower which sucks ass! Today I was forced to use it because my parents had already fallen asleep and I’m not desperate to the point where I sneak my way around their room and into the bathroom JUST to take a shower. So I decided to just give my shower another try.

Horrible HORRIBLE mistake! When I turn the dials to get the water going, the first thing I hear is this awful, awful high pitched whining sound- which makes no sense because first of all, its water and how can water make such an irritating racket?! And second of all, thats just ridiculous. So after the hot water kicks in and and I pull the pin up to get the pathetic flow of water up to the shower head, I find my self awash in a huge torrent of water consulted by a small trickle of water. Great. You know, a bad shower is like a getting a massage from a really weak person, you feel worse and its a real waste of your time (especially if the person who is massaging you always says that they are good giving out massages, but they totally aren’t; so now he/she is lying to you right to your face back) So now I’m huddling once again under this shower head like a hobo/box maven, and now for some apparent reason there is a high pitched whining sound. Basically I’m being peed on, annoyed by this awful sound and I feel less clean because all of the oil from my hair is slowly coating the rest of my body from top to bottom in a thin layer of teenager sweat (yeah it sounds bad, but I assure you it WAS bad). The pressure from the trickle does nothing to help me get rid of dead skin or even wash away sweat from the day which is the total purpose of taking a shower. Overall I think the shower didn’t clean me at all, in fact I know it didn’t. All it did was slowly distribute my dirty sweat evenly over my whole body so every part of me now feels like an overweight person after a labored breathing session. AGH GOD! SMITE DOWN THY SHOWER!

So yeah. Here I sit at my computer, fresh nicely dirty from the shower writing to you people on the internet about my troubles with my shower. If you’ve read this far, you clearly have nothing else better to do, so I suggest you leave me a comment that relates to showers- your own perhaps or at least something that will cheer me up and make me feel like people are actually reading this. Thanks!

-Neverhitboxes