Skip navigation

Tag Archives: maven

    I apologize for my recent hiatus, I was busy NOT BEING CLEANED BY MY SHOWER! [cue cheering audience] So let me fill you guys in. If you haven’t already read my previous post about My Shower, I suggest you do so before continuing.

SO, I haven’t exactly used my bathroom shower. I have refused to touch it. For the past two years or so I have used my parents bathroom which is FAR FAR superior to my bathroom shower which sucks ass! Today I was forced to use it because my parents had already fallen asleep and I’m not desperate to the point where I sneak my way around their room and into the bathroom JUST to take a shower. So I decided to just give my shower another try.

Horrible HORRIBLE mistake! When I turn the dials to get the water going, the first thing I hear is this awful, awful high pitched whining sound- which makes no sense because first of all, its water and how can water make such an irritating racket?! And second of all, thats just ridiculous. So after the hot water kicks in and and I pull the pin up to get the pathetic flow of water up to the shower head, I find my self awash in a huge torrent of water consulted by a small trickle of water. Great. You know, a bad shower is like a getting a massage from a really weak person, you feel worse and its a real waste of your time (especially if the person who is massaging you always says that they are good giving out massages, but they totally aren’t; so now he/she is lying to you right to your face back) So now I’m huddling once again under this shower head like a hobo/box maven, and now for some apparent reason there is a high pitched whining sound. Basically I’m being peed on, annoyed by this awful sound and I feel less clean because all of the oil from my hair is slowly coating the rest of my body from top to bottom in a thin layer of teenager sweat (yeah it sounds bad, but I assure you it WAS bad). The pressure from the trickle does nothing to help me get rid of dead skin or even wash away sweat from the day which is the total purpose of taking a shower. Overall I think the shower didn’t clean me at all, in fact I know it didn’t. All it did was slowly distribute my dirty sweat evenly over my whole body so every part of me now feels like an overweight person after a labored breathing session. AGH GOD! SMITE DOWN THY SHOWER!

So yeah. Here I sit at my computer, fresh nicely dirty from the shower writing to you people on the internet about my troubles with my shower. If you’ve read this far, you clearly have nothing else better to do, so I suggest you leave me a comment that relates to showers- your own perhaps or at least something that will cheer me up and make me feel like people are actually reading this. Thanks!

-Neverhitboxes

Advertisements

Here is a blog from my archives:

You know what I really don’t like? People who act like they know a lot about computers. It drives me crazy to no extent. Just listening to them brag is enough to make me bleed from my eyes! They casually drop a few acronyms here and there, maybe the occasional “download” and every ignorant person’s jaw drops at their boundless knowledge. Now maybe a few of you have never met a person like the one I am describing, but I’m sure you’ll run across one, and when you do, you’ll truly wish you brought your camera with you, because the stuff that comes out of their mouth is truly nonsense (damn that was a long ass sentence).

Now let me give you an experience of mine. I consider myself pretty technical, but the computer network administrator for my high school on the other hand is a completely different issue (I’m not even going to capitalize his title he is so unworthy)! Now as I recall, the guy who is our current CNA used to be the “ball guy” at my middle school. This guy literally would wheel out a ball cart at lunch and at the end of lunch, pick up discarded balls and wheel the cart back in. Now the dire question I have, is how in the hell did this guy go from “Depressed Ball Maven”, to CNA of my school? The thing that further aggravates me is the fact that I am always under the impression that he knows nothing about computers.

The first day of my Web Design class he walked in and announced to the class that our network had a T3 Fiber-Optic Backbone. Ok. That’s cool. But the thing is that he made such a big deal about it, like he was proud in some way (not to mention that half of my class was completely clueless as to what the hell he was talking about- most of them are just in the class for credit). I don’t know if he noticed but the computer still takes an eternity and a half to login (its not the computers fault, they are more than capable). Yeah the network is distributed among hundreds of computers, but not every computer in the school is being logged into and used at once.

The CNA is a nice guy, I’m not going to lie about that, but I think he needs to learn the proper etiquette. When I was talking to him, I was pretty sure that must over used the words, hacker, server and T3 Fiber-Optic Backbone. Anyone can use these interchangeably in a sentence. “Yeah, all of these teenage hackers are trying to hack the server.” And, “Hey did I ever tell you about our T3 Fiber-Optic Backbone?” He just repeats himself, he’s like a parrot or a tape recorder. I can ask him, “Hey, do you guys use SAN’s here at our school?” and he would probably say something along the lines of, “I don’t remember quite, but one thing you can be sure of, is that no hacker can get into our servers because our T3 Fiber-Optic Backbone is so cool.” How does he keep things running, let alone keep his job? I’ll bet that whenever the Principal does a job evaluation, he just uses one of those sentences I used above.

Principal: “So Joe, lets just review how well you’ve done your job…”

Joe (CNA): “Well I’m sure our servers are safe from hackers, and that our T3 Fiber-Optic Backbone is faster than the speed of light.”

Principal: *jaw on the floor* “Wow, you must really do your job well, you get a raise. We clearly don’t pay you enough.”

 

Better yet, I’ll bet if we catch him off guard, he’ll probably just name some features in windows. “Uhhh, I can’t answer that right now, I need to open up my task manager and run DOS so I can further use my computer and ummm analyze the control panel…….have I discouraged you enough yet?” I still don’t know how this guy manages to keep things running, he must pay somebody off. I don’t even know how he managed to get the job in the first place (bomb threats). Well I guess I know who to blame when everything goes to hell and I lose all of my “documents”(because we all know how heartbroken I will be if I lose all my essays on Shakespeare, God forbid….).

-Neverhitboxes

 

/rant

 

P.S- I just realized that I typed a full page on how I hate people who pretend to know a lot about computers and that’s just ridiculous.