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Ok, so this past month has been crazy! So many games have released in such a short frame of time! Its insane! On top of all this, I have just received a new computer from my brother, (thank you Jimmy!) this has opened up a WHOLE new world of opportunities! Now I can actually play games that I was previously not able to on my old computer! (pictures of my rig soon to come!)
So first off, I made a “pact” with Skoh-Fley. If I got a new computer or if I reformatted- I would start playing WoW (World of Warcraft for the acronym inept) again. So I have new computer so I started playing WoW again- and man is it awesome! It runs way above 60 FPS virtually all the time now! When I first started playing WoW- I thought it was “ok” because not only did it look ugly on my old computer- but it just seemed like boring complex game. Second time around, my opinion has changed- the game is really fun and addicting! All my friends play it and it looks great!

Now, not only do I get to play WoW again, I can play HL2 (Half-Life 2 for the people who hate all things good) at a decent frame rate finally! No more blurry ass textures! No more slowdown! Yay! Skoh was nice enough to lend me the Orange Box, so I have been basically playing through HL2:Episode 1+2 and Portals. I still cant get over the initial fact that my computer can now run these games. Whenever I read about a new PC game coming out I was like- whatever, I won’t even be able to play it anyways- BUT now thats not the case! I can totally play virtually any game! HELL YEAH!

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Title: “Headhumpers.”

So now with that update and excitement out of the way, I can fill you in on a story! If you clicked on this story and saw the title and expected to find porn, well, there is none. This story will only really interest the people who played HL2:E1 or likewise.

Its late at night, on a Wednesday, I had just finished a episode of my podcast (PopCast- soda reviewing). We reviewed Redbull and we ended at like 10pm. Totally not a good idea to drink a full can of Redbull and have it already be 10pm because I felt like I should still stay up and do something. Naturally I booted up HL2: Episode 1 since my rig can tear it up. Bad idea. I’m not really a wimp, but when it comes to tense games like F.E.A.R and Doom III, I hate them. Being scared sucks and it makes the game not fun. So I’m playing HL2 in the dark, with headphones at what is now 1am. Worst thing ever! I was scared shitless! There is a part in HL2:E1 where you are in an underground parking garage and its pitch black except for what your flash light shows. The thing is that the flashlight dies out after like 25 seconds of being continuously on and you have to turn it off to recharge it! So I’m running around seeing tons of zombies, headcrabs and other shit coming at me- and then my flashlight dies and I can’t see anything but I can hear all of their fucking zombie moaning noises! So I’m freaking out trying to find a place I can at least run too but I can’t see anything so I end up running into either more zombies or a wall! Ah! I hate it so much! I had to use all of my determination to get through that level. And after I stopped playing I was paranoid that those goddamn head crabs would start pouring into my room or zombies would be hanging around my bathroom. Never again. Never again will I drink caffeinated drinks, stay up late and play scary games in the dark at 1am. Terrible idea. They don’t mix. Its like what police officers are always telling teenagers. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t drink and play survival horror games at night.

-Neverhitboxes

I still have nightmares about that cat……

So relating back to my good friend’s post, I will give a second look into Zelda:PH- I wont really go into the game mechanics since he and every other game review site out there has covered it. Let me just start out by saying that I loved- LOVED the style and cell shaded look of Windwaker. Much so that much of the time I consider it to overshadow the ever loved Ocarina of Time. I just thing that the cartoon look really gives the overall game personality and style. So back to the game, my over all opinion of it is that it is awesome. There can be no question that it is truly a must have for adventure/puzzle fanatics- not to mention fans of Zelda:WW. The trademark dungeon puzzles are great! Especially since the whole game is played with the touch screen, its really interactive and clever.

I would agree that the world in the game isn’t HUGE or anything, but considering how many hours I’ve put into it; I haven’t even revealed half the map. I like how they kept that feeling of exploration. That to me is what made Windwaker so great, was because there were tons of islands all around the world ready to be explored, and I think they really kept that feeling as best they could when they scaled it down to the handheld.

When I learned that the game was going to be released with a online multiplayer function, I was curious as to what they were going to do with it. Nothing too crazy- as it turns out- but its not bad either. The multiplayer function they put into Zelda:PH is actually pretty addicting and competitive. To sum up how it works- I will quote Skoh-Fley because I think he did a pretty good job of summing it up.

“There’re no tools to use from single-player; it’s actually more of a game of cat-and-mouse. One player controls Link, and the other controls three Phantoms. Phantoms cannot be killed, and a single blow from them will kill Link, but they are somewhat slow and more sluggish to control — instead of a standard go-to-where-the-stylus-is-pointing movement system, they rely on the player to draw them paths on the map (which is on the lower screen for this player) to travel along. The player of Link must carry force gems (kinda like Triforce shards) to their designated zone to earn points. The bigger the force gem, the more points it’s worth, but the slower you walk while carrying it. Players switch off roles every round.”

After playing about 6 rounds of it, I can safely say that the multiplayer is REALLY fun. Not only is it super competitive, but its actually got a lot of strategy behind it. You really have to think on your toes and move quickly, because you have 120 seconds to score as many points against your opponent. There are also items- that balance out both sides- link and the phantoms. Link can pick up items that boost his time 30 seconds- phantoms can get an item that takes away 30 seconds from Link’s time. Link can pick up items that make him run faster and vice versa. So both sides can benefit from the items. If this game had voice chat, there would be so much trash talk, it would make Xbox live seem like a pristine haven for children.

Overall, I am very pleased in how the game turned out. I liked the fact that the stylus only system works, I like that the view is a top down 3D look, I like just about every aspect of this game- except for one thing. At multiple points in the game, one must have to go through the very same dungeon 3 times. Its extremely repetitive and it makes me wonder why they even decided to do that in the first place. But looking through that- this game gets an A in my book, and I don’t give out A’s willy-nilly. Its a must have for DS.

-Neverhitboxes